Note to Self # 1

Ever since I was a child, I have always been on the heavy side. There were probably a few years in my teens when I lost some weight but 90% of my lifetime, I have had excess weight. I wasn’t at all self-conscious about my body shape until someone pointed it out to me or when my siblings tease me about it. That was when I started scrutinizing every inch of my body. I would constantly obsess how my butt or my tummy would look like especially when we go swimming and I had to wear a swimsuit. You can say that this somewhat affected my self-image and self-esteem. Though I know I am more than my body, there’s still this (teeny bit) nagging feeling that I am not enough. Up until now that I am an adult, this insecurity somewhat causes my constant need to seek for assurance and confirmation that I am enough. I realize that I am breaking my own heart because for people to accept me, I have to accept myself first.

note to self 1

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